But he is tired. He puts the pistol to his head again. He says, “I never asked to be born in the first place.

Shrapnel was invented by an Englishman of the same name. Don't you wish you could have something named after you?

Just because you can read, write and do a little math, doesn't mean that you're entitled to conquer the universe.

All people are insane. They will do anything at any time, and God help anybody who looks for reasons.

To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.

Out in the world I go! Muggers! Autograph hounds! Junkies! People with real jobs! Maybe an easy lay! United Nation functionaries and diplomats!

Kilgore Trout once wrote a short story which was a dialogue between two pieces of yeast. They were discussing the possible purposes of life as they ate sugar and suffocated in their own excrement. Because of their limited intelligence, they never came close to guessing that they were making champagne.