The arts are not a way to make a living.

The slaves were simply turned loose without any property. They were easily recognizable. They were black. They were suddenly free to go exploring.

The death of a library, any library, suggests that the community has lost its soul.

I learned how to make jokes because I wanted to give people as much fun as they did, and I guess I did, too.

I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened, though, is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d'etat imaginable.

We don't make bicycles anymore. It's all human relations now. The eggheads sit around trying to figure out new ways for everyone to be happy. Nobody can get fired, no matter what; and if somebody does accidentally make a bicycle, the union accuses us of cruel and inhuman practices and the government confiscates the bicycle for back taxes and gives it to a blind man in Afghanistan.

Hitler at the end thought that he himself was one more casualty in the war.