Smoking is the only honorable form of suicide.
If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them.
Do you think Arabs are dumb? They gave us our numbers. Try doing long division with Roman numerals.
That's what my books are, now that I'm a grownup - mosaics of jokes.
Why you? Why us for that matter? Why anything? Because this moment simply is.
And I apologize to all of you who are the same age as my grandchildren. And many of you reading this are the same age as my grandchildren. They, like you, are being royally shafted and lied to by our Baby Boomer corporations and government.