There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead.

Until you die .. it's all life.

Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go looking for it, and I think it can often be poisonous.

What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn't get so mad at them.

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.

I think jokes are a perfectly viable form of literature. Some critics take issue with me because I make my points and discuss my ideas with jokes, rather than with oceanic tragedy.

[People] want to feel superior, so they imagine we're Bible thumpers and uneducated and all that.