What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn't get so mad at them.

Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not.

If you want to really hurt you parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possible can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

Most writers are not quick-witted when they talk. Novelists, in particular, drag themselves around in society like gut-shot bears.

If I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, 'Kurt is up in heaven now.' That's my favorite joke.

The primary benefit of practicing any art, whether well or badly, is that it enables one's soul to grow.

What is flirtatiousness but an argument that life must go on and on and on?