What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish that people wouldn't get so mad at them.

Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies - "God damn it, you've got to be kind."

If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them.

My soul seemed as foul as smoke from burning cat fur.

But some of the nonsense was evil, since it concealed great crimes. For example, teachers of children in the United States of America wrote this date on blackboards again and again, and asked the children to memorize it with pride and joy: 1492. The teachers told the children that this was when their continent was discovered by human beings. Actually, millions of human beings were already living full and imaginative lives on the continent in 1492. That was simply the year in which sea pirates began to cheat and rob and kill them.

I could go on to speak of sanity as compared with insanity, decency as compared with vandalism, friendship as compared with rabies.

The world is full of people who are very clever at seeming much smarter than they really are.