Perhaps, when we remember wars, we should take off our clothes and paint ourselves blue and go on all fours all day long and grunt like pigs. That would surely be more appropriate than noble oratory and shows of flags and well-oiled guns.

Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

Earthlings went on being friendly, when they should have been thinking instead.

Trust a crowd to look at the wrong end of a miracle every time.

Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.

The highest possible form of treason is to say that Americans aren’t loved wherever they go, whatever they do.

American Rifleman and Field & Stream had ads for "varmint guns." Another varmint was a ground hog because a horse would be going along and he'd stick his foot in a ground hog hole and break his leg. So we were trying to prevent that, too. But we finally scared ourselves. We didn't realize we were nuts.