I can think of no more stirring symbol of man's humanity to man than a fire engine.

Do you realize that all great literature is all about what a bummer it is to be a human being? Isn't it such a relief to have somebody say that?

The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.

That specific remedy for the worldwide epidemic of depression is a gift called the blues.

Everyone now knows how to find the meaning of life within himself.

The person who writes the bank's commercials is not the person who makes the loans.

I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened, though, is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d'etat imaginable.