I don't know what anybody else in the world would want to thank America for, but man, it [jazz] works. What I like about it - and what public health people ought to like about it - it's safe sex.

Be patient. Your future will come to you and lie down at your feet like a dog who knows and loves you no matter what you are.

I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.

Evolution is so creative. That's how we got giraffes.

The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.

All people are insane. They will do anything at any time, and God help anybody who looks for reasons.

It's a small world. When you put it in a cemetery, it is.