[People] want to feel superior, so they imagine we're Bible thumpers and uneducated and all that.

I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like crime.

Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not. So I will throw Veterans' Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don't want to throw away any sacred things. What else is sacred? Oh, Romeo and Juliet, for instance. And all music is.

The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an adult conversation.

Symbols can be so beautiful, sometimes.

All the new technology seems redundant to me. I was quite happy with the United States mail service. And, I don't even have an answering machine, for God's sake.

Nowadays, of course, just about our only solvent industry is the merchandising of death, bankrolled by our grandchildren.