How’s the patient?” asked Derby. “Dead to the world.” “But not actually dead.” “No.” “How nice - to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive.

Did you ever admire an empty-headed writer for his or her mastery of the language? No. So your own winning style must begin with ideas in your head.

If you really want to hurt your parents and you don't have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts.

I never knew a writer's wife who wasn't beautiful.

George W. Bush has gathered around him upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography.

Bill Gates says, 'Wait till you can see what your computer can become.' But it’s you who should be doing the becoming. What you can become is the miracle you were born to work-not the damn fool computer.

Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?