I just always wrote songs as a side hobby. So it was sort of a natural thing to write comedy songs. But when I started writing songs, I wrote very serious songs. Or things that a 13-14 year-old would think are very serious issues.

I like to edit; I like to work with other people, and that's something stand-up doesn't really have.

Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year, a dad gets stuck and dies.

My doctor told me i had Attention Deficit Disorder. He said, 'ADD is a complex disorder, blah, blah, blah,' I didn't pay attention to the rest.

I think a bird is the worst present you can give somebody because it's guilt-ridden. This animal has the gift of flight, and you put it in a cage and watch it not do that until it dies.

I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.

A pope going through a faith crisis would be funny to see.