I'm having as much fun today as I did when I made $55 a week, because it is as much fun

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening.

Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.

Gleason became like a mentor of mine. I had Gleason helping me on television, Godfrey on radio.

I was always telling everyone, I want to be a broadcaster. They'd say, What, are you crazy? What, you're going to be Arthur Godfrey?

I have never understood the Iowa caucus.

Don't you think it would be better to legalize victimless crimes like drugs & prostitution & divert the resources to more important things like the rapes & assaults & things like that?