I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.
Larry KingI remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening.
Larry KingIf I do something caring for a friend, I have no doubt in my mind they would do it for me.
Larry KingNobody beats a bunch of journalists for inflating their rather mundane straightforward chores with a lot more melodrama and self-importance than the job should be asked to contain.
Larry KingThere is still nothing in life as constant and as changing at the same time as an afternoon at a ballpark.
Larry KingGetting your house in order and reducing the confusion gives you more control over your life. Personal organization some how releases or frees you to operate more effectively.
Larry KingOne thing I have learned is, if people tell you they had a "frank" discussion with someone, it is usually code for a yelling match with clenched fists.
Larry KingSomeone once said, "I don't lie because then I don't have to remember anything." I've told white lies a lot. Sometimes when you tell stories you'll embellish them a little, especially with foxhole humor.
Larry King...The British press... [claimed that Tony] Blair was simply Bush's poodle - a favorite phrase, bewilderingly popular, although it made no sense - and that he was ignoring the will of the British people. Considering the hacks had spent Blair's first six years in office condemning him for relying on focus groups and opinion polls for his policies - in other words, paying attention to nothing but the will of the people, or at least their whims - that seemed a little rich to me, but as I said, logical consistency has never figured highly in the British media's scale of values.
Larry KingWhat you want in an interview is four things: You want someone who can explain what they do very well, who can have a sense of humor and hopefully is self - deprecating, who has a bit of a chip on their shoulder, and passion. If you have passion, a chip on the shoulder, a sense of humor, and you can explain what you do very well, it doesn't matter if you're a plumber or a singer or a politician. If you have those four things, you are interesting.
Larry KingYou know what amazes me about UFO's? They never land at the White House. They always land at laramie, Wyoming. Thiry miles out, where they're seen by one farmer.
Larry KingWe met in an airport in Las Vegas, Harrison Ford and I, and he said, "I just finished a movie called 42. I play Branch Rickey. There's this kid in it playing Jackie Robinson. I think it's a pretty good movie."
Larry KingI'm sort of the comic relief after a hard day at work. My message is that it's OK to relax
Larry KingMy father died when I was nine and a half. We were on relief for two years. They call it welfare now, but it was relief then... I never forgot the generosity of New York.
Larry KingThose of us forced to read the London papers sometimes speculate about which is greater: the average British hack's sloth, mendacity, ignorance, obsequiousness, capacity for drink, or aversion to paying for that drink. Smart money tends to split between the latter two.
Larry KingThe names are bigger, the show is worldwide, but I get a royal pass into life in the broadcasting business.
Larry KingI've made a lot of mistakes. I've bonded with some people who use you, and some people that take advantage of you.
Larry KingI have lifelong friends. My oldest friend, Herbie, has been a friend since I was 9. I've had bonds for over 50 years with people.
Larry KingLet's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.
Larry KingI would like to ask Him if He was indeed virgin born, because the answer to that question would define history.
Larry KingMy biggest fear is death, because I don't think I'm going anywhere. And since I don't think that, and I don't have a belief ... I'm married to someone who has the belief, so she knows she's going somewhere.
Larry KingAll of my life doing interviews, comedy has been my favorite thing, comedians are my favorite people.
Larry KingYou cannot talk to people successfully if they think you are not interested in what they have to say or you have no respect for them.
Larry KingCommunications is the number one major in America today. CNN had 25,000 applicants for five intern jobs this summer.
Larry KingI did everything when I started. In Miami I did news, I did weather, I did sports, I did disk-jockeying. And I did a sports talk show every week - every Saturday night.
Larry KingI've done radio interviews about this movie [42]. I feel I'm a part of this movie, since I knew Jackie Robinson. I was at his first game.
Larry KingI was always telling everyone, I want to be a broadcaster. They'd say, What, are you crazy? What, you're going to be Arthur Godfrey?
Larry KingIt's joyful to give. But for people who want to take advantage of you, you're kind of an easy mark.
Larry KingWhen I was 5 years old I would lie in bed, look at the radio, and I wanted to be on the radio. I don't know why.
Larry KingI've had bad days and good days in my life, but I've never had a day when I didn't enjoy that red light going on. Whether on the radio, or on television, there's still a little bump every time it goes on. And if you can spend a life, if you can get paid well for doing something you absolutely love, well you can't beat that.
Larry KingIf you have talent, I believe that talent will win out. In other words, if you're a good broadcaster, if you're a funny comic, you'll be heard. If you know how to do a broadcast, if you're a good newsman, if you can see an event and describe it, you're going to be heard and you're going to be seen. So there's always room. Now with cable and satellite and Internet, it's endless. You could blog, you could be your own talent.
Larry King