Larry King Quotes

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.

If they asked me, I did two shifts. I did sports, I did news, because I loved it.

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening.

If I do something caring for a friend, I have no doubt in my mind they would do it for me.

Nobody beats a bunch of journalists for inflating their rather mundane straightforward chores with a lot more melodrama and self-importance than the job should be asked to contain.

There is still nothing in life as constant and as changing at the same time as an afternoon at a ballpark.

Getting your house in order and reducing the confusion gives you more control over your life. Personal organization some how releases or frees you to operate more effectively.

One thing I have learned is, if people tell you they had a "frank" discussion with someone, it is usually code for a yelling match with clenched fists.

Someone once said, "I don't lie because then I don't have to remember anything." I've told white lies a lot. Sometimes when you tell stories you'll embellish them a little, especially with foxhole humor.

I'm having as much fun today as I did when I made $55 a week, because it is as much fun

...The British press... [claimed that Tony] Blair was simply Bush's poodle - a favorite phrase, bewilderingly popular, although it made no sense - and that he was ignoring the will of the British people. Considering the hacks had spent Blair's first six years in office condemning him for relying on focus groups and opinion polls for his policies - in other words, paying attention to nothing but the will of the people, or at least their whims - that seemed a little rich to me, but as I said, logical consistency has never figured highly in the British media's scale of values.

What you want in an interview is four things: You want someone who can explain what they do very well, who can have a sense of humor and hopefully is self - deprecating, who has a bit of a chip on their shoulder, and passion. If you have passion, a chip on the shoulder, a sense of humor, and you can explain what you do very well, it doesn't matter if you're a plumber or a singer or a politician. If you have those four things, you are interesting.

You know what amazes me about UFO's? They never land at the White House. They always land at laramie, Wyoming. Thiry miles out, where they're seen by one farmer.

We met in an airport in Las Vegas, Harrison Ford and I, and he said, "I just finished a movie called 42. I play Branch Rickey. There's this kid in it playing Jackie Robinson. I think it's a pretty good movie."

I like to put a stake in people, because I know people helped me.

I'm the worst person to be stuck with in a traffic jam.

I'm sort of the comic relief after a hard day at work. My message is that it's OK to relax

My father died when I was nine and a half. We were on relief for two years. They call it welfare now, but it was relief then... I never forgot the generosity of New York.

i never learned anything while i was talking.

Those of us forced to read the London papers sometimes speculate about which is greater: the average British hack's sloth, mendacity, ignorance, obsequiousness, capacity for drink, or aversion to paying for that drink. Smart money tends to split between the latter two.

The secret of success is an absolute ungovernable curiosity.

The names are bigger, the show is worldwide, but I get a royal pass into life in the broadcasting business.

I have never understood the Iowa caucus.

I've made a lot of mistakes. I've bonded with some people who use you, and some people that take advantage of you.

I have lifelong friends. My oldest friend, Herbie, has been a friend since I was 9. I've had bonds for over 50 years with people.

You make your own luck. Luck is the residue of design.

If you do something, expect consequences

Les Miserables is one of my favorite stories

Let's not become so worried about not offending anybody that we lose the ability to distinguish between respect and paranoia.

The first rule of my speaking is: listen!

I would like to ask Him if He was indeed virgin born, because the answer to that question would define history.

My biggest fear is death, because I don't think I'm going anywhere. And since I don't think that, and I don't have a belief ... I'm married to someone who has the belief, so she knows she's going somewhere.

Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves.

There is nothing in your destiny, nothing in your future that you cannot accomplish.

All of my life doing interviews, comedy has been my favorite thing, comedians are my favorite people.

Sandy Koufax went to the same school as me. I graduated two years ahead of Sandy.

You cannot talk to people successfully if they think you are not interested in what they have to say or you have no respect for them.

Communications is the number one major in America today. CNN had 25,000 applicants for five intern jobs this summer.

I did everything when I started. In Miami I did news, I did weather, I did sports, I did disk-jockeying. And I did a sports talk show every week - every Saturday night.

I've done radio interviews about this movie [42]. I feel I'm a part of this movie, since I knew Jackie Robinson. I was at his first game.

I was always telling everyone, I want to be a broadcaster. They'd say, What, are you crazy? What, you're going to be Arthur Godfrey?

It's joyful to give. But for people who want to take advantage of you, you're kind of an easy mark.

When I was 5 years old I would lie in bed, look at the radio, and I wanted to be on the radio. I don't know why.

I've had bad days and good days in my life, but I've never had a day when I didn't enjoy that red light going on. Whether on the radio, or on television, there's still a little bump every time it goes on. And if you can spend a life, if you can get paid well for doing something you absolutely love, well you can't beat that.

If you have talent, I believe that talent will win out. In other words, if you're a good broadcaster, if you're a funny comic, you'll be heard. If you know how to do a broadcast, if you're a good newsman, if you can see an event and describe it, you're going to be heard and you're going to be seen. So there's always room. Now with cable and satellite and Internet, it's endless. You could blog, you could be your own talent.

When I broke in, in 1957, it was wide open. Now you're up against strong competition.

Gleason became like a mentor of mine. I had Gleason helping me on television, Godfrey on radio.

If I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening.