I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo

THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of humor I like. I like the goofy one-liner type stuff.

I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.

I hate flying. I'm not a big fan of flying at all so everywhere I go I go by tour bus. If I have to fly I will but I'm not a big fan of it.

There's nothing better than a Nebraska summer so I wanted to live there in the summer time and visit my family and go to as many Nebraska games as I could.

I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.