I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.

Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people

I was pretty subdued [as a kid ] because I didn't want to get spanked, and I didn't want to go to Hell.

I LOVE THE COMEDY CLUBS AND THE CLOSENESS OF THE CROWD. HOWEVER THE MORE YA DO THE BIG ROOMS THEY START TO BECOME YOUR HOME AS WELL AND YOU ADJUST TO THE SURROUNDINGS. I LOVE THEM BOTH. I MISS THE CLUBS BUT THATS WHAT YA WORK FOR TO DO THE BIG ROOMS!

When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.

I was obsessed with livestock barns, cattle and hogs. I still love that, and I still do that as a hobby.So I'm a strange person.

I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.