I've decided I don't want to be a manager. Every time you try to be responsive to your employees, they say you're being reactive and not proactive. And when you try to be proactive, they accuse you of being capricious and arbitrary. So I don't wanna be a manager.

Yes, but I did manage to increase the amount of virginity in the world by that method.

Well, coffee is my drug of choice, generally, with a little bit of Pepsi here and there, if I need more sugar. But yeah, if I could do intravenous coffee, I would. But I guess that's pretty standard.

That which hits the fan tends to get flung in all directions.

The purpose of most computer languages is to lengthen your resume by a word and a comma.

I wouldn't ever write the full sentence myself, but then, I never use goto either.

I'm reminded of the day my daughter came in, looked over my shoulder at some Perl 4 code, and said, 'What is that, swearing?