Oh, well, there's a difference between privacy and secrecy.

There is seemingly no biological benefit to acting with conscience; if there were, only moral individuals would survive and procreate. Sadly, we know that's not true. The benefit of conscience is that you won't suffer guilt (private) or shame (public), and that by your own self-imposed definition, you are a moral human, a special kind of animal who takes unique pride in elevating him/herself above the termites.

Emotions have no I.Q.

Never do anything that you aren't prepared to face the true consequences of.

It is typical of women to fester and ferment over disappointments, slights, annoyances, angers, etc.

When you're the victim of the behavior, it's black and white; when you're the perpetrator, there are a million shades of gray.

Don't worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward.