I start to back away before I do something wildly inappropriate, like jump on top of him.

Fear. Blame. Don't forget. Mom. I love you. -Lauren Oliver, Delerium

Be honest: Are you surprised that I didn't realize sooner? Are you surprised that it took me so long to even /think/ the word -- death? Dying? Dead? Do you think I was being stupid? Naive? Try not to judge. Remember that we're the same, you and me. I thought I would live forever too.

Funny how time heals. Like that bullet in my ribs. It's there, I know it's there, but I can barely feel it at all anymore.

I love you. Remember. And someday, I will find you again.

I thought if I followed the rules, things would turn out all right. that's the thing about the cure, isn't it? It isn't just about deliria at all. It's about order. A path for everyone. You just have to follow it and everything will be okay. That's what the DFA is about. That's what I belevied in-what I've had to believe in. Because otherwise, it's just...chaos.

The reason you can never go home again isn't necessarily that places change, but people do. So nothing ever looks the same.