I loved seeing my name in print, I loved seeing my words in print. I felt really privileged to be in the kind of company I was in at Esquire, but I didn't think it was going to launch a career as a top-notch journalist. It's just not what I wanted.

I never intended to be a journalist. Frankly, I don't think I ever was a journalist. I backed into it.

All of us ambitious young writers hoped to have a cover story in Esquire, of course. The idea was to write the best, most entertaining article that you can.

When it became clear that Lennon was not going to speak with me, it really became a how-I-didn't-get-the-story story. It was a caper.

Success and failure. We think of them as opposites, but they're really not. They're companions - the hero and the sidekick.

I listen to the Beatles all the time - in my car, at the gym. The Beatles are still part of my life. And because of that, John Lennon - in life and in death - remains part of my life.

To write an article about someone and then to have that person murdered is disturbing.