Extroverts want us to have fun, because they assume we want what they want. And sometimes we do. But "fun" itself is a "bright" word, the kind of word that comes with flashing lights and an exclamation point! One of Merriam-Webster's definitions of "fun" is "violent or excited activity or argument." The very word makes me want to sit in a dimly lit room with lots of pillows-by myself.
Laurie HelgoeWith public speaking, practicing congruence is very helpful - allowing the words to be expressed with the face and body. It helps to think of simply "turning up the nonverbal volume."
Laurie HelgoeIntroverts often assume what's inside is visible on the outside. We don't have to invent or fake the emotion; we just need to allow it to be seen!
Laurie HelgoeIntrovert conversations are like jazz, where each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo. And like jazz, once we get going, we can play all night. Extrovert conversations are more like tennis matches, where thoughts are batted back and forth, and players need to be ready to respond. Introverts get winded pretty quickly.
Laurie HelgoeA good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.
Laurie HelgoeIntroverts tend to internalize problems. In other words, we place the source of problems within and blame ourselves. Though introverts may also externalize and see others as the problem, it's more convenient to keep the problem "in house." Internalizers tend to be reliable and responsible, but we can also be very hard on ourselves.
Laurie Helgoe