Introvert conversations are like jazz. Each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo.

Extroverts are more attuned to social rewards, so they are more likely to flash a smile for effect. A notable exception are introverts - like me - whom I call "socially accessible" introverts. We have been trained well to smile and nod, which can place a burden on our processing efforts.

Introvert conversations are like jazz, where each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo. And like jazz, once we get going, we can play all night. Extrovert conversations are more like tennis matches, where thoughts are batted back and forth, and players need to be ready to respond. Introverts get winded pretty quickly.

A shy kid might look longingly at other kids playing in the schoolyard, afraid and unsure about how to approach them, but an introvert is perfectly content on her own.

Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.

A good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.

Introvert conversations are like jazz. Each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo.