Introvert conversations are like jazz, where each player gets to solo for a nice stretch before the other player comes in and does his solo. And like jazz, once we get going, we can play all night. Extrovert conversations are more like tennis matches, where thoughts are batted back and forth, and players need to be ready to respond. Introverts get winded pretty quickly.
Laurie HelgoeA good rule of thumb is that any environment that consistently leaves you feeling bad about who you are is the wrong environment.
Laurie HelgoeIf the extrovert watches and listens a bit more, the introvert's true mood will become more evident.
Laurie HelgoeIntroverts keep their best stuff insideโthat is, until it is ready. And this drives extroverts crazy! The explanation for the introvertโs behaviorโand there must be an explanation for this behavior, say the extrovertsโis that he or she is antisocial, out of touch, or simply a snob.
Laurie HelgoeAn introvert may feel asocial when pressured to go to a party that doesn't interest her. But for her, the event does not promise meaningful interaction. In fact, she knows that the party will leave her feeling more alone and alienated.
Laurie HelgoeExtroverts want us to have fun, because they assume we want what they want. And sometimes we do. But "fun" itself is a "bright" word, the kind of word that comes with flashing lights and an exclamation point! One of Merriam-Webster's definitions of "fun" is "violent or excited activity or argument." The very word makes me want to sit in a dimly lit room with lots of pillows-by myself.
Laurie Helgoe