If fate sends you a lemon, use it to make lemonade.

Stories are like assholes. Everybody's got one and most of 'em stink.

As a friend of mine, herself a writer, says, 'People who spend the most meaningful hours of their lives in the exclusive company of imaginary people are apt to be a little strange'

And, as long as you can make yourself go on choosing the pain over the relief, you can keep going.

Back then, before it became clear that democracy was best served by a drunken electorate, the bars in New York City were required to close on Election Day.

As my late mother famously observed, the one thing to be said for growing old is that every year there are a few more things I don’t have to give a rat’s ass about.

Man, I so sick of dinosaurs. They wasn't extinct, I'd go out an' kill 'em myself.