To say I drank my way into marriage isn't much of an exaggeration, and it's none at all to say I drank my way out of it.

If fate sends you a lemon, use it to make lemonade.

I’ve tried writing and the sentences come out fine, but I write a few pages and I don’t want to go on.

Booze and tobacco and lots of sex. It keeps a lad young.

Every year there's a few more things I'm not sure of. I've decided that a wide-ranging uncertainty is the mark of the true maturity of man.

I've always essentially been a New Yorker.

If you cannot stand a spoon upright in the cup, then the coffee is too weak.