The problem with being linear minded is that you would ask this at all! You assume that you must do one or the other. Plan or not plan. How about planning to walk in a certain direction until the "now" offers you another plan?

See your reality as a life that has many tracks or potentials that you call "the future."

Don't be so glued to what you planned that you can't change it.

Thirty years ago, interracial marriage was considered to be wrong by the laws of God. Now your society finds it common. The spiritual objections around it were either dropped or "rewritten" by those divinely inspired and authorized to do so. Therefore, your actual interpretations of the instructions from God changed with your society's tolerance level - an interesting thing, indeed, how the interpretations of God seem to change regularly to match a changing culture!

Don't be so fond of what you planned that somehow to change it seems like a violation of your own choice and wisdom. It's just the opposite.

When you start to build self-worth and redeem your magnificence, the fears go away... you void your fears via your realization of your own self-worth.

Your sexual attributes are simply chemistry and setups within your DNA. They are given by agreement as gifts for you to experience in this life.