Guys warning girls not to fall in love with them is so truly douchey that it should have a higher success rate.

Don't wait around for someone else to tell your story. Do it yourself by whatever means necessary.

I learned about sex pretty early when I was, I remember, my friend Amanda DeLauro explained it to me when I was six and then I went home and I told my parents, "Oh my God, Amanda said this ridiculous thing, can you believe how stupid this is? She's insane.

Aren't most of us dealing with the fact that we have moms who either weren't ready to be moms or had some level of resentment about it? Everybody is dealing with the different iteration of pain their mom has handed them.

I started writing plays, but the fact that plays don't last forever was too much for me to bear.

I wanted to be a poet. I had a really romantic idea about what that would mean. My parents knew some poets, and I liked how they dressed and acted, but I didn't really acknowledge that I only liked reading some bits of poetry while I was peeing or something.

I would go to work from 9 to 6, go home, nap for two hours, then write from 8 to 2 a.m.