Spoken forgiveness, no matter how heartfelt, works best when we do not demand the response we want. I mean that when we tell people we forgive them, we must leave them free to respond to our good news however they are inclined. If the response is not what we hoped for, we can go home and enjoy our own healing in private.

When we forgive evil we do not excuse it, we do not tolerate it, we do not smother it. We look the evil full in the face, call it what it is, let its horror shock and stun and enrage us, and only then do we forgive it.

To miss out on joy is to miss out on the reason for your existence.

Forgiving is, first of all, a way of helping yourself to get free of the unfair pain somebody caused you.

The rule is: we cannot really forgive ourselves unless we look at the failure in our past and call it by its right name.

I am certain that people never forgive because they believe they have an obligation to do it or because someone told them to do it. Forgiveness has to come from inside as a desire of the heart. Wanting to is the steam that pushes the forgiving engine.

My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed - and each of the five has been me.