I feel like I swallowed a Magritte. Like on the inside, I'm made of clouds and floating eyes, green apples, and slowly rising men in bowler hats.

I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick.

...I took Advanced PowerPoint last semester. You guys are always misunderestimating me. I'm totally ready to handle the big stuff.

We sit and listen and are enthralled anew, for good stories, it seems, never lose their magic.

Because 'You're perfect just the way you are,' is what your guidance counselor says. And she's an alcoholic.

You can’t blame a fella for kissing the prettiest girl in New York, can you, sister?” Sam’s grin was anything but apologetic. Evie brought up her knee quickly and decisively, and he dropped to the floor like a grain sack. “You can’t blame a girl for her quick reflexes now, can you, pal?

But if we are to remain a great empire, we must have a greater understanding of the hearts and minds of others.