You can't fight your fate...It is predestined.

Parents die, daughters grow up and marry out, but sisters are for life.

What stays with me most is a general sense of loss, unease, and longing for the past that cannot be relieved.

I am still learning about love. I thought I understood it--not just mother love, but the love for one's parents, for one's husband, and for one's laotong. I've experienced the other types of love--pity love, respectful love and gratitude love. But looking at our secret fan with its messages written between Snow Flower and me over many years, I see that I didn't value the most important love--deep-heart love.

Obey, obey, obey, then do what you want.

I write a thousand words a day.

I think all women have a friend who at some point dumped them or betrayed them or deeply disappointed them. And at the same time all women have a friend who they dumped or betrayed or hurt in some way. That's universal in women's friendships.