You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life, you know?

My mom ate every piece of butter in the Midwest, she lived till she was 90. And my dad, he smoked, he drank - we finally just had to kill him.

I live in California, the worst place in the world for fat people. There are three of us. They have us on eight-hour shifts, so it works out.

I used to do my dad smoked, he drank, we finally had to kill him.

At Thanksgiving, my mom always makes too much food, especially one item, like 700 or 800 pounds of sweet potatoes. She's got to push it during the meal. "Did you get some sweet potatoes? There's sweet potatoes. They're hot. There's more in the oven, some more in the garage. The rest are at the Johnson's."

It's so much easier to be cynical.

I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. In a few years, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.