Azhar Usman is a true original and will laugh the hate right out of you.

I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. In a few years, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.

I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And I hurt people.

Your agent or manager tells you. They go, "You're out. They're gonna get a new guy." But then I didn't feel bad. I didn't take it personally. Not that I'm competitive at all. But you have pride in that, you know? You want your ratings to be good. But now that I'm 62, I don't really care about the ratings. I don't care about the reviews. I care about the work, and I care about the people that I'm working with, and I try to make the experience for them and myself as good as it can be.

God and the universe said to me one day, "You're only going to get what's good for you." That's kind of how I try to look at things. Isn't that true, when you look back at things? "Ooh, I'm glad I didn't get that!" You get more philosophical when you get older, with the more life experiences you have. But I don't have any bad feelings towards anybody that was ever involved in any of that stuff, because I don't think that people usually set out to hurt you. I think that hurt is all manufactured by yourself and your expectations.

I'm a 7 o'clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.

I have a cousin Ernie who buys stuff. He's got a big snowblower that's actually the biggest snowblower you can buy, with a remote control, so he doesn't even have to go outside. He's got the microwave and a satellite dish, it's all in one. He cooks and watches at the same time.