Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.

Let me tell you about my family.

When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.

I have a cousin Ernie who buys stuff. He's got a big snowblower that's actually the biggest snowblower you can buy, with a remote control, so he doesn't even have to go outside. He's got the microwave and a satellite dish, it's all in one. He cooks and watches at the same time.

I have to be very careful about how I do any stuff on sadness 'cause the crowd gets really sad and concerned for me.

I've been in Vegas. That's where you get into the money thing. Boy, you get greedy in Vegas, you know. That's the only place that you can bet $25, get it up to $500 and refuse to quit.

You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life, you know?