Perception is created and twisted so quickly.

I don't know if you've ever had just five dollars in the bank, but I've found that if that's all you have, you can't get it out.

Sadness is poetic. You're lucky to live sad moments. When you let yourself be sad, your body has antibodies. It has happiness that comes rushing in to meet the sadness.

The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.

There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.

Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue.

I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward.