Working in TV and navigating success is a tricky thing. It's easier to navigate the hard work of starting out because you just do anything they let you do, but once you get into an orbit, after the thrusters have pushed you into the orbit, now you have to navigate that orbit. There's no choices when you're starting out. You're just like, "Please, let me do anything." But then it turns around and it's like, "We'll let you do anything".

You know what our number one threat is? Heart disease.

America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.

Most Americans have so much crap, that you could lose most of it and still have way more stuff than the average Canadian.

You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.'

God is like a shitty girlfriend.

Anytime you see a bit where some stranger does something to me, it's me.