He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.

Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!' 'I don't know, a bowl?' 'Non... I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants!

Some things in life are not pleasant but they have to be done. For instance, German and maths.

This soft grass suggests 'softness' to me, but also at the same time 'lying-down-ness'.

Honestly, what planet do these people live on? And why isn't it farther away?

...Then it said on the news, "And tonight the Prime Minister has just got to Number Ten." I looked down at Jas and said, "Ooer." Meaning he'd got to number ten on the snogging scale. And then we both laughed like loons. Vati just looked at us like we were mad.

If you fall down those stairs and break both of your legs, don't come running to me!