Overslept and had to race to get a life to Jas’s with my dad. No time for yoga or makeup. Oh well, I’ll start tomorrow. God alone knows how the Dalai Lama copes on a daily basis. He must get up at dawn. Actually, I read somewhere that he does get up at dawn.

And that's when it fell off in my hand

Everyone is so obsessed with themselves nowadays that they have no time for me.

And a secret inward voice in my head was saying (in a strange breathy voice...) Yes, yessss, I will pop round to The Blind Pig. I will 'pop' round because guess who lives at the Blind Pig? It is not a blind pig, it is Alex.

He has a song in his heart for me. I hope it is not "Shut Uppa You Face, Whatsa Matta You.

I am soooo excited, I am over-excited. I'm hysterical, I may have to slap my own face in a minute at this rate.

Mum said, "It is the thought that counts." And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.