And yet, I suppose you mourn the loss or the death of what you thought your life was, even if you find your life is better after. You mourn the future that you thought you'd planned.

It eats you up. It eats you up. And you have to - I had a lot of help. I had a lot of therapy. And I was able to - because it was hard, you know, to - you can't just lay it on friends and children.

I believe I have lots of time. I have to believe that, that it won't come back, and that that's why I'm in good hands. But I also do live my life by putting nothing off.

I don't want to marry again. I did that.

Well, right now, technically, I have no breast cancer.

But when this happens to you - and I think other people would identify with this - suddenly, colors are brighter. You see everything.

So I - the thought that I would physically be different was - it's not a thrill, I have to tell you. It's kind of - it brings you up short. But I was able to look at it right away.