When we avoid the legitimate suffering that results from dealing with problems, we also avoid the growth that problems demand from us.

To be free people we must assume total responsibility for ourselves, but in doing so must possess the capacity to reject responsibility that is not truly ours. To be organized and efficient, to live wisely, we must daily delay gratification and keep an eye on the future; yet to live joyously we must also possess the capacity, when it is not destructive, to live in the present and act spontaneously. In other words, discipline itself must be disciplined. The type of discipline required to discipline discipline is what I call balancing.

Not only do self-love and love of others go hand in hand but ultimately they are indistinguishable.

I guess if you want to know one single thing I'm about, it's that I'm against easy answers.

The principal form that the work of love takes is attention. When we love another person we give him or her our attention; we attend to that person's growth.

Since the primary motive of the evil is disguise, one of the places evil people are most likely to be found is within the church. What better way to conceal one's evil from oneself as well as from others than to be a deacon or some other highly visible form of Christian within our culture

Do what you feel called to do, but also be prepared to accept that you don't necessarily know what you're going to learn. Be willing to be surprised by forces beyond your control, and realize that a major learning on the journey is the art of surrender.