A discussion becomes destructive when it begins to generate more heat than light.
Often the most loving thing we can do when a friend is in pain is to share the pain-to be there even when we have nothing to offer except our presence and even when being there is painful to ourselves.
Ultimately love is everything.
If we deny our anger, our pain, our ambition, or our goodness, we will suffer.
With total discipline we can solve all problems.
If we want to be heard we must speak in a language the listener can understand and on a level at which the listener is capable of operating.