Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance, but a good line is hard to resist.

what's life good fer anyhow? The minute you crawl into the world for no good reason of yer own, it's got you licked four ways from the ace.

JUDGE: Are you trying to show contempt for this court? MAE WEST: I was doin' my best to hide it.

For a long time I was ashamed of the way I lived. Did I reform, you ask? No. I'm not ashamed anymore.

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.

Just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.