Show business is one of the few businesses that the devil will actually agree to own just a portion of your soul because he knows if you have a performer's ego you were probably working for him all along.

I’m glad to be part of the war on sadness. I’m a part time employee of the illusion that keeps people stupid.

When I was a young kid I loved Don Rickles, Buddy Hackett and Jackie Vernon.

Most of my comedy writing happens through improvisation on stage; doing it in the moment.

I've always been someone who likes to talk to people. When I was a little kid, I sought out freaks and weirdos that wandered the streets by where I worked in high school. I would just bring them in and talk to them.

Jerusalem Syndrome is actually a rare psychological condition that occurs to some visitors to the Middle East. They get to Israel and just snap.

The truth is, I can’t read anything with any distance. Every book is a self-help book to me. Just having them makes me feel better.