Americans don't understand irony? I am an intelligent person living in the United States. My entire existence is ironic.

I have a very primitive sense that if I just turn on a radio or the television, that somebody's playing that stuff for me.

I’m glad to be part of the war on sadness. I’m a part time employee of the illusion that keeps people stupid.

I knew most of my radio listeners were lefty political people, and I decided definitively not to be that guy - not to address politics.

It's great to have people come out. I do worry, though. They know me very intimately, in a way, if they listen to my show; they know a lot about me.

I think most other comics are like, 'I'm going to do my fkin' act and that'll be that.' With me, it's like, 'What if I forget my jokes? What if I can't pull it together? This is going to be a fking disaster!'

The bile makes it better. I am an information wasting machine - 100s of words a day.