That’s the big challenge of life—to chisel disappointment into wisdom so people respect you and you don’t annoy your friends with your whining.

Hopefully standup will become special again.

Maybe depression is the most reasonable response to all the crap around us. Maybe it's the happy people who need medication.

I think things evolve into jokes. I don't generally write them down as jokes. I talk them out.

Most of my comedy writing happens through improvisation on stage; doing it in the moment. Going up with an idea and fleshing it out over time on stage and in front of people until it becomes a full bit.

I don't care what anybody says, I think that George Bush is absolutely the right president to oversea the end of the world.

What comics sacrifice and what lives they live - I know that most of their lives, their adult lives, they're sitting around or walking around with notebooks, writing things down. Usually they're fairly sensitive. Usually they're very bright. And that makes them poets.