I’m glad to be part of the war on sadness. I’m a part time employee of the illusion that keeps people stupid.

I feel bad for people who have never been addicted to anything, because they're the real losers. You want to know why? Because they don't know what it's like to really want something - and then get it again and again and again.

I'm sad to see the passing of the great drug warriors. I certainly did my part in that battle and I don't regret any of it.

It may have lost its special-ness forever and the clubs might not being doing well but I think standup is in the best shape it has been in a long time.

In show business, it takes 10 years to create an overnight success. You've heard that, right? But what you don't hear is that that's the exact same amount of time it takes to create a bitter failure.

As I became very conscious and more aware of things I got very into the beatniks and that kind of stuff. They were very important to me for a few years.

I just wanted to be a good comic and had no sense of show business, but at some point you want the opportunity to write a show about your life.