I've found the best thing to do is to really be loving, kind, forgiving and compassionate with yourself. There are some wonderful practices for that which I talk about in Love For No Reason.
Marci ShimoffTaking ownership of your happiness has two aspects: Accepting that being happy is up to you and that you have the ability and power to be happier by changing your habits. Taking "response-ability": responding to all the events in your life in a way that supports your happiness.
Marci ShimoffLove isnโt just something we feel for others, itโs who we are. Though we usually think of love as a stream of emotion flowing between two people, love is more like an ocean thatโs inside and all around us. Instead of walking around with a little cup, begging for a few drops of love from others, recognize that youโre the huge ocean of love.
Marci ShimoffI did some more soul searching. I asked myself, "What do I want more than happiness?" and there was only one answer - the only thing that trumps happiness is love. Not the kind of love we are normally taught about, but the kind of unconditional love that is a deep inner state which doesn't depend on any person, situation or a romantic partner. That's how I define Love for No Reason: it's an inner state of love.
Marci ShimoffThe problem for most of us is that the cup has holes, so love goes out just as easily as it goes in. What happens when people are living in the unconditional state of love, however, is that they recognize they are the ocean of love; they know it's their essence. And they naturally overflow in this love. So instead of being love beggars, they become love philanthropists.
Marci ShimoffTo make the quickest progress, you don't have to take huge leaps. You just have to take baby steps-and keep on taking them. In Japan, they call this approach kaizen, which literally translates as 'continual improvement.' Using kaizen, great and lasting success is achieved through small, consistent steps. It turns out that slow and steady is the best way to overcome your resistance to change.
Marci Shimoff