Comedy was all I ever wanted.

If you're a songwriter, you want to write a song like "Oh Yeah" that radically shifts everything. You can definitely retire on that song. You want to have something you can put in your songbook that everybody can recognize, whether it's a good or bad thing.

I feel sorry for anyone that I am obsessed with. I am worse than gum in your hair, very, very close to the roots.

I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they'd laugh.

Let's not hate ourselves. We are all we have. We cannot change anything until we accept that. I cannot do this alone. I don't love myself enough to do it alone, but I can do it if we have a pact, if I am keeping up my end of the bargain. I have been a longtime perpetrator of hate crimes against myself, and I am turning myself in. I have had enough.

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.

Your goal is to write that masterpiece. Yello's masterpiece was "Oh Yeah." Whatever I say about the song doesn't matter, because it has a huge impact on how we remember the era.