In some places it's actually very OK to be homophobic.

I want to get married but I look at husbands the same way I look at tattoos. I want one, but I can't decide what I want, and I don't want to be stuck with something I'd grow to hate and have surgically removed.

My mother goes crazy over babies. Some people just do. They love 'em! I never have. Babies scare me more than anything. They're tiny and fragile and impressionable - and someone else's! As much as I hate borrowing stuff, that is how much I hate holding other people's babies. It's too much responsibility.

In some places it's actually very OK to be homophobic.

One of my first jobs was on a lesbian cruise. I was the ship comedian for the Lesbian Love Boat.

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

I have a song about how much I hate emojis and the lazy thinking of people who use them. I wish that more people had respect for the English language.