I think white people like to tell Asian people how they should feel about race because they're too scared to tell black people.

I always wonder why Republicans hate gay marriage, because they certainly don't hate gay prostitutes.

The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.

I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.

I love Wilco's "I'm the Man Who Loves You." Nels Cline has that weird guitar slide at the beginning and the song is whispered actually.

The newest victims of the nation's foreclosure crisis are pets, which is extremely distressing to me.

I am into belly dancing. I used to only hang with comics. Now I have friends who are dancers, and my whole house has a harem feel.