George Bush isn't Hitler. He could be if he applied himself.

No wonder all the great comedians had such destructive private lives. ... After you get the audience into that kind of frenzy, and you are being worshiped like the false idol you are, how do you leave the stage and transition back into real life? ... What is there left to do but set yourself on fire?

Something as important as marriage equality, which is now a constitutional right [in the USA], is something that cannot be denied. It's also very un-Christian, if you think about the way Christ was and Christ's teachings. This is not loving. This is anger. This is hatred. This is bigotry. And it's wrong.

I think I heard it [ Ferris Bueller's Day Off ] earlier. This was being played on a station in San Francisco called Live 105, which was a new wave station. It was one of the first stations to change its format in the early '80s. There was this wave of really strange music coming from Europe like Kraftwork and Freur.

Most conservatives also believe in the death penalty, but not abortion, which proves they like to procrastinate.

Comedy is the only weapon I have to battle totalitarianism.

I like to respond with jokes and to keep it as light as possible.