Now on Facebook I have all these 'friends' who used to bully me, and they're like, 'We're so proud! We love you!' They come to shows and want to take a picture, and they're like, 'Don't you remember us?' And I'm like, 'I'm sorry, I don't.' And I feel bad, but I feel good.

Let's not hate ourselves. We are all we have. ... I have been a longtime perpetrator of hate crimes against myself, and I am turning myself in. I have had enough.

The best tattooists are in San Francisco, and they're kind of like my family now. I'm always excited to come back to San Francisco.

There's a lot of guy comics who I think are funny, but I generally am more excited about a special or a show where there are females.

Im not a mom, but I think the word mother is about wisdom.

Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply within you that you cannot believe it.

I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized...I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?