I'd rather dig a ditch than go to a dinner party with people I don't know.

I suppose I wanted to have my cake and eat it. But then again, what were you going to do with your cake if not eat it? Frame it? Use it as a sachet in your underwear drawer?

For all of my life it was the size of my rear that caused me the most hand-wringing, but in this nearly-50 zone it is my stomach that is the problem. It seems to have broken free from its moorings and there is no knowing how far it will roam.

Minsk! How pissed-off that sounded! It was great. You could scare the bejayzus out of someone if you said it right.

For feel-good fiction to work, there has to be an element of darkness.

I've been so showered in life, beyond my wildest dreams, such as having a loving partner I never thought I'd have.

Not only was he not mad, but he was a musician, and my favorite men had always been musicians or writers or anything that involved the creative process and behaving like tortured artists. ... I found financial insecurity a great aphrodisiac.